Well too bad. You can’t. Because it really isn’t a job. You don’t even have a job description. Salary? Nope, not that either. Performance evaluation? Well, unless you consider the word “gross” describing the dinner you made as a performance evaluation, you don’t get one of those either. You don’t even have a direct supervisor, unless you count your husband (as if!) or your kids (well I do call the older one “the little dictator”).
So yes, I am venting. I am complaining. It seems to be something people do about their jobs, so I figured I would join in, even though technically I don’t have a “job”. But I suppose I do have the same gripes as people who work out in the “real world”.
So let’s break it down…
Common complaints from some one who has a “real job”:
1. I don’t know what my job entails, am I supposed to process the xxx data or is Joe?
So… As a stay at home mom, am I supposed to be in charge of the laundry, dishes, cleaning, shopping, dog walking, mail getting, bill paying, etc. Or am I just supposed to be entertaining, educating and enjoying my wonderful children? Because I feel like I should be doing all those things and when I don’t I feel overwhelmed and a bit of a failure. (if I have time I will insert a picture of the pile of laundry sitting next to me)
2. I never feel appreciated, my boss never even says good job!
Do I even have to explain this one. I am supposing everyone who is reading this is a SAHM and you totally get this. I mean, have your kids ever said “thank you mom for doing the laundry so I have clean underwear”? And I mean without prompting.
3. To meet this deadline I have to work overtime! What happened to my weekends?
Weekends… As a SAHM do we even get these? There are still dishes, laundry, cleaning, shopping, dog walking, mail getting and bill paying to be done. (Are those part of my duties, I can’t remember.) I thought weekends were supposed to be a respite from the drudgery of our work week. But since my hubby works out of the house all week all he wants to do is hang out at home. Since I am AT HOME all week all I want to do is GET OUT!!! So herein lies the rub. Don’t get me wrong, my husband let’s me (don’t even get me started on the “let’s me” part) have me-time on the weekends while he get to “be me”, which I love. But when I return, the kids have not been fed, the laundry is not done, the dishes are still dirty, the mail is not fetched, and the house is a mess. Since at this time he is supposed to “be me”, I am thinking that perhaps the above mentioned tasks are NOT part of my duties and I am once again being a workaholic (a label I got when I too worked in the “real world’).
4. My salary sucks.
I allow myself $25 a week to spend on me and the kids and $400 to spend on groceries for the whole month. I know I am cheap, but my salary sucks. One mom friend posted on FB, “My daughter gets paid $10 an hour to babysit one kid. I have three kids and I take care of them everyday. Guess who makes more.”
5. I have no possibility of promotion.
In nine years I will be promoted to the parent of a teenager. At this time I am sure to be awarded more attitude and given the bonus of increased requests for material possessions.
6. That B*^ch in accounting is always taking credit for my work.
I can’t actually take credit for the wonderful things my children accomplish. They are truly wonderful, shining, funny, sweet, loving handfuls because that is who they were born to be. But I do like to credit for other things. Like when K pushes, or does not share. Or when E throws a tantrum, or was not walking at 18 months. Or when I found out that K is small because he is celiac and we have been feeding him wheat his whole life. Or that E can’t sleep in his crib because I am constantly on the go so he is used to sleeping in the car.
Ugh, the list goes on. And so can I but this post has gotten too long already. So it has been established that I can’t quit my non-job of SAHM. And I wouldn’t want to. Laundry is not difficult, cleaning, although not my forte, is not rocket science, I like walking the dog and being responsible for the family finances. AND I do enjoy staying home with the kiddos. I also enjoy owning my own business (Stroller Strides) and having the flexibility to teach prenatal yoga.
So I guess I will stick with it… I mean who wouldn’t when the job description entails a fuzzy list of duties, long hours, no weekends, no pay, no upward mobility, no sideways mobility, no bonuses, endless repetitive tasks a monkey could do, 100+ kisses a day from messy mouths, huge belly laughs, never ending noise, quiet moments of breathless beauty, countless opportunities to teach, even more opportunities to learn, and the possibility that once again the dog is having “issues”.